Dear all, the blog has been dead for awhile. Recalling what had happened to me was like a rough battle. Fortunately I won the war. Now that I am recovering, I realized how ill I was back then. I mean way before dengue, physically and mentally.
Third time admitted to the hospital, I really am the troublemaker to the family. I really do feel bad that they have to go through these again. I never could imagine how scary dengue could be before this. Again, I know god has been taking care of me. It's amazing how god gives sweetness between the bitterness. You just have to be grateful to notice them. I would never know how lovely my friends are if dengue never happened. I would never know how lucky I am to be in the worse scenario but not the worst. Most important, I would never know how grateful I should be to be healthy.
Maybe I am exaggerating, but that month of struggling makes me feel like I've been fighting with the god of death. I feel grateful for being able to recover. To be honest, I'm sick of being sick. People just have to be reminded of how lucky they are for some simple things to happen. Finally, I feel like myself again. Able to control your own movement, able to do the things you want. I got this funny feeling which I'm not sure how to share with the others during the recovery. That feeling when my mind was clear, but the body just won't do as your mind commands. The body needs rest. I guess that's the fight between brain and heart. Guess what, for me brain always win.
Now this feel refreshing. Some of my thoughts changed. I wonder how tired I am before this. Just two years time I feel like I've break through my body defense system. People, we need to love ourselves more. Need more time to rebuild it I suppose.
Now I understand there are things you can't pretend. Pretend to be fine, pretend to be strong. You'll feel it when you've let go. I like this kind of tranquility. It's a peace that I've lost it for a long time. Not that bad to fall sick this time, I've gained a lot.
It made me love you guys more.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment